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Book of Jelothoth - Jelothoth on the Nature of the Beginning - In Roger We Trust [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Book of Jelothoth - Jelothoth on the Nature of the Beginning [Apr. 7th, 2008|07:41 pm]
In the beginning there was a large void in the middle of some fairly cool shit. You know, like a parking lot in the middle of urban sprawl. This little slice of multiverse wasn't being used by anyone, cause Martin was a bit of a cunty landlord, you know? Kind of guy what doesn't let you have a goldfish in your apartment, let alone a series of planets containing sustainable life.

Needless to say, I was pretty tired of driving past this big patch of nothing (you try driving through infinite Nebraska). I figured I could do something with it. Never actually wanted to though, too much work running a universe. Just ask any deity. Oh, sure, Yahweh makes it sound easy with his 'Idiots Guide to Building a Universe in Seven Days' book, but he used Open Source.

If there's one thing that deities do, it's gamble. Check out any story featuring my buddy Zeus, Yahweh and Satan, or any of the other dudes I hired to work on my worlds. It's a bad habit, we know, but what else are you going to do with just short of forever? That's what I thought.

Now, one day me and Marty were out watching some other groovy cats playing Pogs. Martin, he's a bit tipsy, you know?

"Jelothoth, bro, that dude in the fucking horns is going to kick that fat guy's ass," he said.

"Fuck that shit, Marty," I said. "Vikngr is going down in a blaze of shit."

"Fine," he said. "I bet you 93 billion light years Vikngr wins all over this joint."

Martin was wrong, of course. I grabbed up his 93 billion and ran with it. Set up some stars, couple planets, a few nebulas, copied, pasted, edited, pen tooled, and typographied all over the blank space. Got a couple buds together and got shit rolling on Earth and a few other points out in the sky. You know, got to keep shit going.